coupling courage

“Courage is the human virtue that counts most — courage to act on limited knowledge and insufficient evidence. That’s all any of us have.” – Robert Frost

A wise man once said, ” the coupling process is innately complicated”. As you get older, your specifications increase as your pool decreases.

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Hmmmm…..we all accept that courage is a virtue, right? In EVERY culture, in EVERY character building exercise, courage is expected. It is defined by Merriam Webster as: mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty.

Exactly! Exactly what I thought, exactly what he meant, EXACTLY!!!!

Think about it. With great risk, comes great gain. Perserverance is the greatest indicator of success. Who doesn’t feel the difficulty of being in a 1:1 relationship with someone who is deeply connected and truly matters?

Another wise friend always remarks when asked how are you and yours? “It’s complicated, you know?” No, I don’t know, but they do. Everyone of us knows how “complicated” we view our close relationships. How far do you “venture” in your exchanges? How truly transparent and open are you? How honest can you be or do you feel like you are expected to be or do you really want to be? How deep? How direct? How real? How genuinely YOU can you be, in your relationships? How exposed can others be in your safe acceptance?

Back to our definition of courage…also described by bravery, courageousness, daring, daringness, dauntlessness, fearlessness, gallantry, greatheartedness, gutsiness, heart, heroism, intestinal fortitude, intrepidness, moxie, nerve, valor, virtue

We shall focus our attention on “mental or moral strength to venture”. Venture?

Venture where? What are we venturing? Defined as :to expose to hazard : risk, gamble <ventured a buck : to undertake the risks and dangers of : brave <ventured the stormy sea> We have heard of venture capitalist. We have heard of adventures.

What about a couple venture? What is that? What does it look like?

It is two individuals who join their hearts ( the root of courage is from the 14th century “heart” and I like the “greatheartedness” version). There is an agreement to undertake a virtuous effort to meld two sets of dreams, two visions, two hopes, two unique patterns of daily activities, two sets of interests, two known needs, two real wants, with intentionally united wishes to travel on one pathway. One that is more narrowly focused- broad enough for two, but narrow enough for each one to keep step with the other and their own true self.

Isn’t it interesting to hear different versions of the same story? Like Christopher Columbus, some people “find the new world” and what they are looking for. Like Ponce de Leon, some keep searching their whole lives over for “the fountain of youth”. We acknowledge the discovery of America and shrug off the fountain of youth. Why? Both adventurers found & claimed “it”. What if you had to describe your level of courage here? Would it be the same kind of courage you exhibit in the face of wild animals, wild stock markets, wild weather? Or would you hover under cover, lean to lonely, and bide your time waiting for the right “one”? The special “one”? The “one” that got away?? The “one” that is out there waiting?

Another wise gentleman told me clearly that he had chosen three times and each time he selected the same selfish nature with fair hair from a different faith. If he can describe where he went wrong, a brave man would venture back with different views and claim “one” that was generous hearted, of like faith and warmer coloring.

Buck up!! What does a general tell the troops? We can do this! We must do this! We will do this! There is no room for retreat or defeat. Head up— step forward.

Come out chicken little…..the sky is not going to fall. Like Frost started the subject, we take heart and act on limited knowledge with insufficient evidence. How can we get more knowledge and gather more evidence? By entering the ring, by prioritizing, by perservering and then savoring the victory.

Never, never, never quit. –Winston Churchill

Enjoy complex engagement in relationships with confidence in your personal coupling courage. If you need more fortitude, practice. If you find more valor, share! Make good use of your ventures and claim what you find!