If I didn't know better

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Well, what does that mean?

It implies that we do know better.

We are better. Or we could be?Or we should be? If we choose to be? If we know better, do we choose better? Do we choose differently? How many chances do we have?

Last night, “Nashville”, the TV show broadcast their premier. I watched and I watched and I watched…..trying to decide what I was watching. I saw a bit of Southfork and thought, “Is this Dallas”? Then, I saw a bit of Peyton Place and thought, “How can she do that?” Then, I saw age discrimination and wondered, “What can be done about that”? But, the real clinch pin was this song proposed as a poem in an impromptu performance by a girl and a guy in a bar setting. “If I Didn’t Know Better”. Supporting players Bowen and Palladio as a Bluebird Cafe waitress/poet and aspiring musician who, as the hour draws to a close, team for a duet that promises to lead to bigger things.  I agree with a clip from the you tube comments: Best song and overall vocal performance in the whole episode so rich in emotion literally gives me chills. It was spellbinding and the one unforgettable moment in this television drama.

If I didn’t know better I’d hang my hat right there If I didn’t know better I’d follow you up the stairs Stop saying those sweet things you know I like to hear The horns are blowing louder and they’re destroying me Why do I keep drinking Wasting my time on you If I didn’t know better Well damnit I do  There’s a hole in what you’re saying I can plainly see You have a lover that’s waiting but baby you’re right Here with me Ooh, you might as well be the devil Oh, keeping me out past three Oh, you’re the one with that apple so baby you can’t Blame me Why don’t you keep drinking Get me one night with you If I didn’t know better Well damnit I do You know that I do Oh, baby you’re right here with me Oh, baby you know

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAI_1FsJ8rE

http://www.mjsbigblog.com/nashville-pilot-episode-original-songs-now-on-itunes.htm

One phrase, “ooh, you might as well be the devil” reminds me of a player on Jeopardy this past week. She was winning big time, had a handsome lead on her two male opponents and Alex was crooning, “The answer is…. the Daily Double”. As he smiled at her, he smoothly reminded her what a true daily double wager would be and how little she had to lose considering her incredible mastery of the subject matter to that point. She looked directly back into his eyes as she made her wager, “Alex, you are the devil, I will go $2000.” Of course she got the answer right, but my fellow Jeopardy pseudo player extraordinaire had already marked her as “not a gambler” so we weren’t surprised that she didn’t jeopardize her $20K lead. She was definitely a quick thinker!!!

Jeopardize means put (someone or something) into a situation in which there is a danger of loss, harm, or failure. Synonyms are endanger – imperil – risk – hazardadventure.

The song: “If I Didn’t Know Better,” appears on The Civil Wars’ 2009 live album, Live at Eddie’s Attic performed by Bowen and Palladio. I had never heard it before last night.

Less than 24 hours after hearing this song for the first time on a new TV show which was actually released in 2009, I was listening to the radio on the commute to work and heard Bono singing the band U2’s 1992 release Who’s Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses?

You’re dangerous ’cause you’re honest,  You’re dangerous, you don’t know what you want,  Well you left my heart empty as a vacant lot,  For any spirit to haunt…Hey hey sha la la Hey hey, You’re an accident waiting to happen,  You’re a piece of glass left in a beach,  Well, you tell me things I know you’re not supposed to, Then you leave me just out of reach…Hey hey sha la la Hey hey sha la la, Who’s gonna ride your wild horses? Who’s gonna drown in your blue sea? Who’s gonna ride your wild horses? Who’s gonna fall at the foot of thee? Well you stole it ’cause I needed the cash, And you killed it ’cause I wanted revenge, Well you lied to me ’cause I asked you to Baby, can we still be friends?…Hey hey sha la la Hey hey sha la la, Who’s gonna ride your wild horses? Who’s gonna drown in your blue sea? Who’s gonna ride your wild horses? Who’s gonna fall at the foot of thee? Oh, the deeper I spin, Oh, the hunter will sin for your ivory skin, Took a drive in the dirty rain ,To a place where the wind calls your name, Under the trees the river laughing at you and me, Hallelujah, heavens white rose The doors you open, I just can’t close, Don’t turn around, don’t turn around again, Don’t turn around, your gypsy heart, Don’t turn around, don’t turn around again, Don’t turn around, and don’t look back, Come on now love, don’t you look back! Who’s gonna ride your wild horses? Who’s gonna drown in your blue sea? Who’s gonna taste your salt water kisses? Who’s gonna take the place of me? Who’s gonna ride your wild horses? Who’s gonna tame the heart of thee?

Danger.  An accident waiting to happen? And, the tell tale line: The doors you open, I just can’t close. If I didn’t know better, but I do, and you know that I do! All lyrics. But, wait. What are songs, if not statements of where we are or where we have been or what we have felt or what we have seen?
Does this look dangerous? What part of this picture appears to be risky? It’s a city corner, with heavy construction equipment in motion, with a manhole behind that front loader, with men moving inside and out. There is a stoplight and four lanes of traffic bottlenecked into a one lane pass through. There is an attorney’s office and a restaurant and cars parked up to the point you see with a parking meter station to pick up tickets to place on the dash of parked cars. Do you see that tiny little sign below the “one way” black and white arrow? The most dangerous part of this scene has nothing to do with the obvious…it’s not having a traffic accident, it’s not hitting grown men in yellow vests, it’s not missing the stoplight, it’s not hitting a pedestrian, it’s not anything you would guess.
Well, you could try to guess. Take a closer look at that squarish sign adjacent to the equipment operator’s head. Would you have noticed that if you whipped into a park further away from that corner? Would you have even thought for one minute that EVERY SPACE along the front of two thriving businesses would be set aside for “handicapped parking”? Nope, me neither. But, I assure you that the police camera that you can find, if you go down there and look very closely, has a clear notification on a small sign on that pole holding that red lettered “handicap” notice on the corner. Did you ever see a handicap notice covering 5 car lengths that was not BIG and BLUE and easy to spot…usually on EACH spot? Nope, me neither. Would you think that the blue marks squiggled out there in paint on the pavement were for digging up lines with that machine? Did you know that a parking ticket is about $35, but a handicap parking ticket is $500? Did you know that a parking police, rapid ticket writer can arrive within seconds of someone making these kinds of errors?
Would a sensible person ever park in a handicap designated area if they did not have a blue and white handicap approved parking decal? No, they would not. Would a sensible person expect to find that many spaces reserved on one corner? No, they would not. Would a sensible person expect to pay the fine, if caught? You bet. Does it matter if the defendant who made this mistake “didn’t know” there was a sign, didn’t see the sign, had no idea they were doing something illegal, were in total shock when they studied the ticket and the surroundings after the fact?  Or would it be a different story “If I didn’t know better” ?
A teenager came home from a date with a new “boyfriend” who is two years older. In teen times, that’s light years of age difference! She ruminated aloud, the more I get to know about him, the more I should be afraid. He’s a lot more dangerous than I realized. But, to tell the truth, I am more excited than afraid. This is a case of having a skewed view. Would this rock jetty be dangerous? Not if you knew where it was and safely kept your distance. It would help if you were looking at it from the proper position and perspective. Her mom asked me, what do you think? I said, “Well as much as she is not afraid, you need to be ….for both of you!!!” 🙂
She does know better and she is ignoring everything she does know to explore what she doesn’t know and can’t know…YET. We are no older, nor wiser, when we do likewise! How many of us have seen “the handwriting on the wall” and gone straight ahead because “we wanted to” or we “thought it might be different-this time” and hoped we “didn’t know now, what we didn’t know then and wished we could start this whole thing over again”…”I just don’t want to know….how it ends.” Yep, most of us.
Well, try to remember, you already do too!! Your mother is watching and she knows, you know better. What are you going to do about it?? Play pretend or face facts?