known unknowns

The wind blows to the south
    and turns to the north;
round and round it goes,
    ever returning on its course.
All streams flow into the sea,
    yet the sea is never full.
To the place the streams come from,
    there they return again. Ecclesiastes 1

Have you heard the phrases: a known known, a known unknown, unknown known and an unknown unknown? It sounds so mysterious. It’s a playful use of words to describe concepts we are all familiar with. The unknown unknowns are easy. We have a clear idea of “you don’t know, what you don’t know”. The known knowns are pretty clear. You know what to expect based on facts or some objective information. But, what about those known unknowns? What are they?

If you think about it, early sailors and navigators were good at accepting the known unknowns. They knew that they didn’t control the weather or their fate. They lived under the constant unknown of nature and the will of the wind.

Relationships are known unknowns.  What do you know? What do you venture into the dark on? We KNOW that we are entering uncharted territory with every relationship. None of them are the same, because we are never the same. We are a product of our last experiences, our beliefs, our hopes and dreams, our physical limitations, our mental angst, our emotional point. What is known? We all are better off, in a healthy relationship than not. Scientist have proven that social engagement is important for longevity. But what can you be sure of? Nothing! Not with anyone, can you ever really be sure of anything. The only thing you can probably KNOW is yourself. Getting to know someone else is like walking into a dark room in a new home and looking for the light switch….you stumble and fumble, reach forward and draw back, stump your toe and fall over a chair, keep going or retreat, persevere or go get a flash light, find it eventually or give up.

More disturbing are the unknown knowns. This is when you are sure you know something and it is not true. You don’t know that what you believe is incorrect. I suppose that was the whole idea behind the world being flat. They were convinced of it, had it on good authority and so they operated in daily life within those confines. This is probably the hardest option to face. Its more frightening than venturing into uncharted territory. It’s being in uncharted territory and not knowing it.

Good example: you are sailing along at night in a blinding rain and fierce wind. Your GPS goes out and its a moonless night. You see a few faint lights and identify the shoreline. About that time a voice comes on the radio…”This is the captain of the southbound ship calling the sailing vessel near the marker #7″….you start scrambling for the radio and about the time you pick it up, you hear the loud BOOONNNNGGG of a ship’s horn. Yards away are the red and green bow lights of a huge ship bearing down on you. You escape with inches to spare and wonder, how did I not know that ship was there. How did I get myself into this? How? You believed you were safe. You believed you were NOT in the shipping channel. You believed you could see any ships before they got that close. You believed something ( unknown known) that was not real. No way to capture that on film- too dark & scary.

So, what’s love got to do with it?:) Is it an unknown known or a known unknown? It looks like the description here epitomizes the known unknowns.

They say love is blind. I disagree. Infatuation is blind. Love is all seeing and accepting. Love is seeing all the flaws and blemishes and accepting them. Love is accepting the bad habits and mannerisms, and working around them. Love is recognizing all the fears and insecurities, and knowing your role is to comfort. Love is working through all the challenges and painful times. Infatuation is fragile and will shatter when life is not perfect. Love is strong and it strengthens because it is real. (Brian White)

You absolutely KNOW you don’t know what will come next. Things are a little foggy up ahead. It does not deter you, because there is something greater than ourselves at work. No one has a crystal ball and no one can see where it will end or if it will cross to the other side. We just know what we know and accept what we don’t know.