why we do what we do

Have you ever puzzled over “why”?  It is a 2 year olds’ favorite word!

Why?

Why is the sky blue? Why do I have to eat that? Why do I have to go to bed?

Fast forward 30 years and imagine the same “whys”. Why am I working here? Why did I move from one house to another? Why can’t I sleep all day? Why do I eat organic one day and fast food the next? Why don’t I have more money? Why did I choose to spend every dime on something that no one else values? Why do I do what I do? Why do we keep making the same mistakes? Why do we keep doing the same things and not see it ourselves?

I don’t know why. I wish I did.

Have you ever noticed that the people who are doing the most puzzling things do NOT want anyone to ask any questions. Guess what? They don’t know why either. They can’t answer your questions, because they haven’t answered their own.

Does it matter why? Is why more important than what? I think so. I think if we could grasp “why”, we could help ourselves and others break free from negative patterns of behavior. We might be able to change some dynamics that seem to keep us pedaling the same path. We might be able to “save ourselves” from “what we do” that we might do differently. Or we might be able to be more satisfied, that we are doing what we would do, even if we knew why!

Take me, for example. Why do I never go to Broadway musicals, when I love them? Why am I allowing my calendar to fill up for the summer to keep me from the boat? Why do I wait for someone else to say, “Let’s take a walk”, before I get my shoes? Why do I prioritize what I do for everyone else over what I do for me? Why do I contact people I don’t know, if I see something that piques my interest? Why do I tackle things that others think are a waste of time?  Why do I keep myself “overbooked”?

What am I struggling to understand today? Not myself, I have just about figured it out for me. It’s my friends and family that I am wondering about why – why do they do what they do?  Why would someone return to a place with people and painful memories? Why would people place themselves in harm’s way for a job they do not need or especially like. Even strangers, I don’t understand. Why would this lady on Shape magazine show a picture of herself that is unflattering? She is fighting to have a bikini picture published that looks like a big bubble of fat rolling out of her navel. I understand she is proud of losing over 100 pounds, but why would she be so sure she wanted her image out there like that? Didn’t your momma tell you to “put your best foot forward”?

I don’t know. Why do mom’s go running when daughters call?  Why do we rail against our own parent’s absence in our kid’s lives and then repeat the same pattern? Why does Poppa get to play and Nana does not? I don’t know. Have I ever played? I don’t play with kids or dogs, but why? I love them. I take care of them. I listen to them, comfort them, snuggle them, admire them, watch over them carefully and watch them play. Why do I resist games? Maybe, because they remind me of math? Maybe, because my mother always preached, no playing until you get your work done. When have we ever really gotten all of our work done? I make lists and the lists never end.

We are creatures of habit. That’s why we do what we do. Right??