In spite of ourselves
Do you ever compare what you say with what you do? Do you ever wonder if you are speaking in code or if others are? Do you ever wonder who you will be, if you keep exploring people, places and things that interest you? Do you ever find yourself in a place you’ve never been, thinking about things that never occurred to you before? Do you live for today, or are you future oriented? Do you wonder how much time you have left to do all the things, see all the things and get to know all the people who cross your path or are meant to be part of your life? Do you find sanctuary in your choices?
One of my friends told me recently, “I think about dying every day.” He doesn’t have a bucket list, since he has seen and done a lot of things and feels satisfied with where he is at this time in his life. He lives for today and makes choices to “spoil himself” any way with anyone he chooses based on this pervasive thought that he might die tomorrow- this day, could be his last day. Another friend has lived well into his 80’s and said very calmly that he doesn’t think of dying, the only thing he considers each day is not spending his last 2 or 3 years in a nursing home. So, each of these men live one day at a time and enjoy whatever comes into their life sphere. One with lots of principles and one with very few, but both with the same philosophy and no regrets.
This photo was taken at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, NYC, in the Egyptian tomb section. They worked hard to “tell the story of their lives” and preserve them for posterity. I wonder if they invested as much energy in living well with this concept of immortality.
“So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34
Even when we think we know about living each day to the fullest, are seizing each moment, cherishing everything we find meaningful and enjoying the individuals we share time with—it is our capacity to experience, more than the actual experiences that can enhance or limit this philosphy. In spite of ourselves and the choices we have made over a lifetime, we can be at peace with the differences in what we expected and what we actually see in our lives. We can live one day at a time and accept where we are right here, right now. |
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| According to Abraham Lincoln, 16th President 1861-1865, “the best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time.” Would he have had the strength to perservere if he had known what was right around the corner- or curtain? |
John Prine and Iris Dement sing “In Spite of Ourselves”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIlQsRQNIqU&feature=related
In spite of our differences, we were meant to know each other and be together.
I say I don’t expect anything from anyone, but I do. I tell myself this so I won’t be disappointed. I have been disappointed by myself and others, so many times. I try to live one day at a time, but that old pattern of wondering what this means and what impact this might have for the next day or the next year or the foreseeable future keeps rising up and taking control. Is that actually a good thing?
A thoughtful wildlife photographer described the devastation of an osprey nest from a recent windstorm. She couldn’t get the plaintive sound of the osprey’s cries or the sight of the place where the nest had been, just a few days earlier on her last photographing foray. Now,instead of a happy family, in a secure home, two adult ospreys were standing watch over the site where they lost everything. She described how she understood their loss and even though they could have more nestlings and continue their lives together,this home and these baby birds were gone forever. This was all they could see, today.
Then, she digressed on species that “mate for life”. She talked about a morning dove that came back every year looking for the mate they lost to a plate glass patio door, eight years straight, all alone. Then contrasted that with the raucous behavior of ducks and their nonchalance for their little ones. “Ducks have not thought about their mates, ospreys mate for life”. She had considered taking the line out of the marriage vows, “forsaking all others” as she looked quizzically around the group gathered,” What does that mean?”
Forsake according to Merriam Webster, ” to renounce or turn away from entirely’.
It means keeping only unto each other- you don’t have an intimate, romantic, conjugal, emotional, familial relationship with another man or woman. You forsake those kinds of bonds with any other person. Like the osprey- they make their nest together, they fly off and spend their summers together, they mourn when they lose their nest or babies and they live day to day- spending each day together on every level. They don’t have anyone else in this position in their life, until one of them dies. I guess that’s what the other line means ,”until death do us part.”
Often, in spite of ourselves, we find a way to honor who we are, with all of our commitments and personal list of “have to’s” as we choose to live one day at a time. Finding the balance of living in the moment, accepting happenstance and enjoying each day to the fullest is desirable. Can we still allow grace to ourselves and each other , as we consider how our actions affect our future? Every experience, every contact, every choice of the day, leads us somewhere and speaks to who we really are. Actions speak louder than words. Are you going to believe what I say, or what you see me do?
If you see me watching retro TV and wonder why, it’s because I go back in time to a more carefree place. Today, one of my old favorites- a place where everyone knew all their neighbors and what mattered most- is front and center with the passing of Andy Griffith. He personified a man who was faced with life’s twists and turns on every episode. We trusted him to keep Barney out of trouble, soothe Aunt Bea, love & guide Opi, let Otis sleep it off in safety, question Howard politely, be a gentleman with Helen and shared his humourous view of Goober and Gomer. He made choices based on shared principles in good-natured consistency. You could appreciate the lifestyle the show presented. No matter what time we live in, we are all alike despite our differences.
As Joyce Meyer states,”You get where you want to be, with one good choice after another”. Being honest with where you want to be and making those good decisions, includes accepting who you would choose to spend your last day(s) with, doing what and that will show you where you will find “your happy ending.”
Since we are here at the July 4th holiday, what are the three gifts of our founding fathers? Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. We value personal freedoms and the opportunities to choose happiness and live our own life above all things.
I want to thank all those who served to protect our freedoms.
Enjoy life, while you have a life to enjoy. Be kind and generous, accepting of other’s choices and where they happen to be on this day, since we are all on the same journey of discovery. Life is what happens, while we are busy planning. When you have a moment, look back and see if you are where you planned or if you care. You are the only one who can decide what you think or feel about where you are today.
Post Note: An osprey story
http://www2.wnct.com/news/2012/jul/05/7/officials-rescue-tangled-osprey-new-bern-ar-2409539/